When you make an incomplete sentence like this on Facebook.

...it makes you no lesser a tool.

The amount of white whine on Facebook has been unprecedented.
Facebook refuses to let me update statuses (for the last 4 days)
(I feel as if it may be my own fault, however. Time to debug h4xx0r-style)

Also, I'd just like to thank the most special girl I know right now.

Yes, you. Thanks for making my senior year less alone. Without you, I'd be strumming lame 8th-note progressive house chords. With you, they're alive and magical.

Plus, your eyes are oceans. I can't see the end of them.

Gotta admit, it was a hit-or-miss. So far, it's hitting me right in the chest.

Like my status? NO.

LMS for a TBH:

Lick my snatch for a triumphant big hard-on.

You're welcome, Internet. You're welcome.

-Mac

One helluva Saturday

From about 1400 (2 in the afternoon) til 000 (midnight), I was 'locked' in a room with a gorgeous blonde, handcuffs, and no awkward feelings towards each other what. so. ever.

By god, I'm a man.

The Fine Line

In life, there's that fine line between being cocky to set, independent thinking. Throughout my High School life, I've been taught to investigate both sides thoroughly and make a smart choice. While that is a smart way of approaching solutions, what happens when there isn't enough time for that? I'm afraid of becoming that mindless drone of which I fight against. I want to make the wisest decisions.

Where do I go from that?

Also, how does one approach that missing link fusing passion/emotions to catchy, short-spurt lyrics? Looks like everyone else has it down but myself.

Good example: "Please tell my lover I'm down on my knees and I really really miss you" - With You Friends - Skrillex.

- Super simple, yet when people wade through the mad sampling going on with it, they're in for the biggest surprise of their short-term attention span. How does it work!?!

This summarizes this week quite well.

There I was, sitting with my 6th hour class in the comp lab upstairs. Just about everyone was on Facebook or YouTube. It hit me that I was using the wi-fi to write my lab on google docs days before they hit me with TWO referrals and possible impeachment. Really now? It takes me ten seconds to change a wi-fi password, not two days. It most CERTAINLY doesn't take me "man hours" or making my faulty case more appealable to a non tech-savvy giant such as our dean to convey how 'powerful' I am. Next time, don't be so lazy as to not erase the password from the board and depend on the student to not use it. It embarrases me to even know our school administration isn't so professional itself.

Sincerely,

Your Student Council President

Log 30/November

This dream was oddly acceptable:

My mom and I walk down to the railroad tracks to discover there are two cars about to run into each other. I stand there, hopelessly seeing them collide. Once they do, they produce a sound that reaches 5 completely different octaves. In fear of it being loud, I plug my ears instantly. When I unplug them, the sound is rather faint. We decide to walk down a bit (towards where Sheridan meets the overpass. There is a vast field with a cave. The first run through of the cave brings up two objects: a space light (from way back in my distant memory) and a hand-figure that appeared to be from an old Nickelodeon show. I try to fit the BP mask over the hand (and for some reason, try to put both on my face). Doesn't work out that well. We exit the cave. We follow another intricate path to find ourselves at the same cave. We enter (the sun is barely coming up from the south). Kayla's there sleeping on top of a desk along with 3 others. I shrug and say "Hi Kayla". She gets up, sees me, goes back to whichever fetal position she was in and says "Hi Mac". It isn't until I mention I brought my mom when she gets up in excitement and says "No way!". Some others from school storm in from the entrance of the cave. Each one seems to be touring the path that follows down into the Earth. As for Kayla, she just stays there. I exit out to try to reclaim a carrot from the Chase bank (which seems more southwest than it really is). I wake up just after I hear news about something either happening at my school or on the train tracks.

Horribly narcissistic idea. It might work.

I'll start a YouTube page under the name somebuzzyfangirl95. From this page, I'll secretly upload unreleased works with vids of pics of me (or buzzy). The whole feel of the page will make others believe some 16 year old girl is obsessed with Buzzy. They will soon find out why, as well.

Horrible - I told you! Satirical? I guess that's a good safety net (if I get caught).

You...tool...

"OMG ther's ninjas in my living room!(:"

That, right there's the reason why I dislike this one chick. Good way to kill the mood.

Mr. Schmitt's Fifth Hour...

...thanks for not having me in your class. It's loud and counterproductive.

On the plus side, my Architect's presentation's done!

There'll be plenty of power to myself after the show.

Aural Psynapse

Such a fancy name for "hearing things".

Just a thought, though:

AURAL PSYNAPSE

- The abstract 1/4th note that plays during the "chorus" breaks implies the Ganzfeld effect (playing two tones just slightly different in frequency). Doing this has been proven to cause hallucinogenic effects under certain physical stress.

How about me? I just got back from a week straight of work. I heard this for the first time. My brain stopped seeing straight. This whole Halcyon441 thing blew my mind out of proportion. This new music (that reminded me of my own past, and many dreams I've had) is going to keep me up for days on end. I gotta feelin...

BTW: That's a fancy name for "hearing signal", deadmau5. Sneaky before it was sneaky...

It may have been the first vid I saw of it playing in the background. Trippy stuff...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ufyx6Yqy2CM

If you got the time...

I'm afraid...

...of my future.

Colorado's home of the smartest people of the U.S.

What the hell am I gonna do?

/plungeallunnecessaryextracurriculumactivities

Your obsession...

...to Smosh. It's going to make me sick. Honestly, stop.

I don't care if you're their "number 1" on twitter.

Quite frankly, I hate twitter.

I HATE YOUR ATTITUDE.

Suck on some tig ol' bitties while you're at it.

Dreams, a new setup, etc.

Dreams first:

- A few nights ago, I had this dream. Two-parter: I went with two girls I've been hooked on (in real life) to Glenwood Springs. It was the perfect time of day, perfect temp, scenario, etc. I took the brunette/blond one out to go swim. There was where she took me underwater, somehow communicated to me that she still liked me, and proceeded walking back with me, hand in hand. The entire time, I was ridiculously nervous that the other girl would be jealous. I guess that means I have my mind set on who I truly have strong feelings for.

The dream following that one (during the same night) had me at some girl's house. She was new to the school, and somehow, lived in a nice suburbanized portion of Arvada. The entire time, I was with a bunch of other guys doing very boring and mondain things. Leave it to me to wander off and find her alone. We talked for a bit (nothing I could remember off-the-bat), and she smiled at me...reminded me strongly of someone I saw in real life (probably day prior I had the dream). I ended up kissing her sister upon force from HER parents. All she said afterwards was "I see you more as a friend". Rejected even in my dreams? Yeah, reality hits me hard regardless of my conscienceless...

The new setup's gorgeous. I'm still waiting for some wood slabs for the new speaker stands (so my precious 200 dollar AV-40's aren't precariously placed on 1"x1" squares.) Aside from that, the new 8-speaker sound system's ready to pump up kicks.

New song's about starships and my constant struggle with women. As much as I hate comparing them to objects, it's gonna happen - They're like my dream studio; it's possible, but I have to work harder and put some faith into it.

September in a Nutshell

There's been this overhaul in my school.

They're known as attention whores. Last year, it wasn't bad. It clicked itself into the corner, along with normal kids (my school's norm is Magic-playing dorks listening to Happy Hardcore...and Buzzy).

Let me explain my observations over the last few weeks:

- Coffee and Old People

At my retirement home, I wash dishes, set up coffee, clean up, etc. What became so important recently was that I gave the elders decaf coffee during dinner. I've been doing that fine for the last month working there. Up until about a week ago, I started giving the orange-rimmed coffee pot REGULAR-CAFFEINATED coffee. Following observations will happen in a few weeks, granted something drastic happens

- Attention Whores

Being Student Council president at my school gives me plenty of room to sit back and observe. Often, I'll sit in on classes, just to observe behavior patterns that didn't strike me being an underclassmen. Just recently, students at my school started feeling very confortable with their surroundings to the point where attention needed to be absorbed - like a magnet. There are two strong-points in the high school portion of the school (I'll call them S & M). S has every other upperclassman following her like a dog. M has every underclassman following her like an even more pathetic dog.

- Being Ignorant gets the chicks

Hard to believe it, but this year, I just about don't give a crap if someone needs my help on useless work. Last year, I tolerated it. This year, not at all. As a result, I can be blunt with someone about their use of time, if they're fat, how much they appeal to resident-douchebag, why it's not a smart idea to smoke, or if their religion's corrupt. I tell it like it is; as a result, many are speechless for 5 minutes.

Then...out of nowhere, the girls CRAWL BACK. Like nothing I've ever noticed before - here I've only thought it was some fabrication for negative advantage. Turns out women like their men RAW. A good friend explained it in-depth with me (which to me, this was CIA-classified stuff). Her best bet's that women like to change guys. A TON. They also like strong leaders and dislike indecisiveness.

- OH! Religion groups in the morning.

I didn't even know about this until today. I was setting up some audio equipment in the cafeteria, when a precious little group of white kiddos entered. Blasting their pious Christian tunes from some 10 dollar iPod amp, they walked to a back table to "better express themselves under God". What didn't click in my head was that they were STILL blasting that damn music louder than they were speaking. So, in reality, no productivity here.

I guess both ways, there wasn't much productivity. I just don't understand it. It's all about "His" glory. This is why I just can't take religion so well.

I skipped the whole thing about wanting a girlfriend. Of course I want one, dammit. I can daydream for the meanwhile (and lucid dream on certain nights). Until then, I have just about the next-best thing.

Oh yes. A bracelet. This girl's making it especially hard for me NOT to take special notice. High school sweethearts can go suck it - she's the whole package and more.

Ok, so there goes my pointless presentation for Brit. Lit tomorrow. I just wrote about some practical brain-development. Off to report on Marylyn Manson and NIN? Okay, fine.

It's been a month.

BUSY MAC WAS BUSY.

However, I have a huge update to put here:

18/September - Tonight, I've took a girl to downtown Arvada during the night-life, showed her my secret scenic spots, took her to my house late (like midnight-late), told her my spooky stories (actually have her go crazy over them), watched Boondocks, cuddled, then proceeded to take her home and score a peck on the neck.

Freshman me: This is what you've become.

Be proud.

100th post!

I could end this post in a very negative tone, as it means coping with the idiocy of the other half of Buzzy, but I'd rather be upbeat. Tonight was an awesome night, and I hope to have one like it soon enough.

My summer's been very positive so far. Happy 100th post, The More You Know.

Another infomercial explained.

Would someone tell me that Light Relief actually has some form of scientific proof?

This ad from 2003 advertises a pad with LEDs (blue and red) brightly flashing and being held in close proximity to the skin.

I've heard there's some proof behind this actually working, but doesn't this just look like some other well-crafted miracle advertisement? There's gotta be some effect, right? I mean, let me get my bright LED flashlight on strobe mode and see if my sunburn goes away faster. If it does, I take back any negative thought I've had about this ad. Until then, I won't sleep.

Ever.

(I'm pretty tired. I should probably go to sleep.)

Oh...cute chick from yesterday? Yeah, she turns 15 today.

...

.....

........

Ewww. Dammit all.

I mean, seriously. I know 18 year olds that look half her age. WHAT THE HELL!?

I mean...creepiness aside, she's still cute. I was honestly convinced she was older.

I don't get out much, do I?

Yesterday, I was a beast.

Today, I'm mexican: working hard for very little money (that I found on the floor).

Yesterday, I went to a popular water park in the state. It's a breeding ground for hot women in bikinis. Upon going with a clan of 3 other white people, I noticed there were many of these hot women were looking in complete, polar opposite directions of us. It didn't hit me until we approached the wave pool...and there she was.

Pink bikini.

(Like a boss).

I joked that I should ask for her number.

Go figure, now it was peer pressure forcing me to get her number.

I walked up, (Like a boss) and asked for her number. NOTE: This is a FIRST in my life.

I got it moments later. It's 303, ***-**** (you think I'm that stupid?)

Anyways, she's very pretty. Turns out I picked the best one I saw that day.

BOSS LIKE A BOSS' BOSS.

Anyways, enough boasting. Tomorrow, I'll be filing for my own business license for BP rec. After that, I'll be hanging out in Denver, like another boss' boss.

Only downside to my water park visit? SUNBURN. So I called Banana Boat's bitch-ass up and demanded a refund. I got it (LIKE A BOSS WHO GOT FIRED AND HIRED BY THE COMPANY'S CEO'S HOT DAUGHTER DUE TO SEXUAL INTENTIONS...BOSS.)

I'll stop now.

So I just saw this ad

It's for a special additive for food that, sprinkled on like salt, can make someone lose weight fast.

The product is called SENSA.

Quickly, I picked up on a hypothesis of what the truth of this product must be.

This "Special" additive is nothing more than a bitter-ant.

- The additive makes whatever it's added on to taste like crap.

- The end result is the consumer eating less of the product, but feeling remorse every time they eat something without it.

Are there special antioxidants or working patents in it? More than likely not. However, the infomercial on TV consists roughly 90 percent of testimonials, fake doctor endorsements and skinny models eating attractive foods with the additive. There's also many empty promises that would probably distract possible customers from the real point: lose weight with a planned eating habit.

I could probably make a few million off of the idea of packaging a digestible bitter-ant, making ethos-based advertising that directly targets people's insecurities, market it for specific gullible audience groups, and sell the actual product for ten-fold what it'd cost to produce.

It's all about making certain people feel like they can't live without it. Think cigarettes, oil, and banking - just not tradition-based.

I feel like THIS GUY:

...maybe a bit more tolerant...and white. I still feel like that guy, though.

I did something dirty

..not necessarily proud of myself, but...my god it worked like a charm.

Today, I came across mastering my new track.

It needs to be LOUD without being (in headroom-sense), LOUD.

What I did was I downloaded this VST that many masters use: the Voxengo Elephant. It's job is to compress just about everything up to a loudness quality that's only matched up using it's tool (or some super expensive virtual studio mashugana). The demo version of this leaves gaps of silence every-so-often- across the track. What I realized was this was at total RANDOM.

So I exported TWO versions of the track, both at different times. Sure enough, the awesome VST left voids of sounds in different parts of the track. The glory of it? They were in different spots in the tracks. So I took both tracks and pasted over where the clips of silence were with the OTHER track.

Man, I feel dirty. Now, though, I know I can use the VST at my discretion and for free! There's no way I'm paying 200-so-odd bucks if I already got away with a free copy of Live 8.

...even if it only lasts for a while more. I'm cheap, yes.

Dream Log 10/July

This one's slightly old, but I remember it quite well.

In my dream, I return from one of my friend's house to see my mom packed with a briefcase. I ask where she's going. She tells me (in some lucid way that I didn't pick up) that WE were going to the airport. I ended up packing nothing (I get really stupid in my dreams), and we left. The whole airport/airplane thing I forgot - all I remember is that it took 2 hours, but I remember being in the hotel room across from a building suspiciously similar to the Xcel Energy building downtown.

The building was lined with huge white christmas lights (the 'bulb' kind), and the line of lights ended right by my hotel room. It was snowing outside, although it was relatively warm. The community surrounding the building was cozy and closely situated house-to-house. Upon seeing the building, I remember me thinking "Singapore Exchange" would be PERFECT to hear. I never say the real title of my tracks in my dreams (Kero)- I only say the pre-production codenames. By then, I knew I already made it big and went around the world because I simply could. The dream didn't last long - the end of the dream I remember heading off to another place in the world. My mom told me I could do this as long as I had the money. In my mind, that was no problem, and already I knew I would have enough money for the world. Maybe that's a sign I'm going to make it big?

That'd be nice. No dreams about chicks yet.

Sick of being sick

I'm still sick.

There are no women interested in a slob like me.

I can't sleep at night.

^^^ These things DON'T keep me up at night, anymore!
Actually, as a result, my dreams have become wilder and better to remember!

I also take time to slice up samples to make Mord Fustang/Skrillex-esque tracks! THAT'S A GOOD THING!

(I still can't believe I made DUBSTEP)

I went back to the school today, for the first time since it let out in May. It's a wreck, and it smells like ass.
On the positive side, there'll be no new teacher for the High School. That means no new classrooms taken from the senior lounge!

It also means that I go in tomorrow at 14:00 for new staff interviews.
(They're all soooo fake!)





If anyone still reads this, I owe you.
I usually bitch and complain about my life...and I know I'm a more interesting person if I actually talked about the good life.
It'll happen...maybe in my next post. Yes.

July, the Fourth (time being sick this year)

This is what I hate about being white: I get sick really quickly with no reason.

Did I wash my hands? Of course! Didn't make out with any sluts, did you? NO!

But I still get mono. What the crap!?

I can't look up at the blue sky and dream off into my charming fantasies of beautiful women because I'll cough out a lung if I tilt my head up that much. I can't even sleep more than 2 hours without waking up in a cold sweat. Even when I THINK about it, I cough unstoppably. I'm going to stalk, murder, and donate the organs of the person who gave me this. EVEN if it's a remarkably good-looking girl; she's gonna get it. I can't even think straight with this damn virus!

I didn't feel like Katy Perry this fourth. No firework...just being hot 'n cold.

Crime Pays

I gotta work out an awesome music video for this song. It deserves something more quirky than ever before...

Here's my thought:

The concept is a mockumentary on a con-artist. From the time he wakes up to the time he's snatching wallets, installing faux ATM card readers and camping out for unattended cars, the camera follows him closely and in second-person. One major concept I want to work out is identity theft, which this man is an absolute PRO at doing. (This will definitely make the audience have bittersweet ties with the 'protagonist') The con man doesn't acknowledge the camera man, but at many times, there's small things that point out his profession:

- He constantly wears Ray-Ban wayfarers when going incognito
- He signals the cameraman only when he does something mischievous
- Covering his tracks up is a must; he wears gloves when committing fraud/hats when under security cameras, etc.
- The camera does second-rotation clips on notices/collections from federal agencies/police
- Secretly, he has a family that he's left behind in his pursuit of the black-collar professions. A few clippets show family pictures and him stressing over them.

Many others I'll be sure to brainstorm. The gist of the plot is to show how he "gets away" with a life of fraud. I'm still in debate whether I let him live or die by the end of the video.

Regardless, I want the main character to look like one of the Blues Brothers. BADASS. Just sayin...gotta have the black/white suit and shades, at least.

Better Than Her lyrics?

First Verse:

(think Uffie)

I see you looking at her, she's a class A diva
got a body to show and got some booty to please ya
waitin til you walk over, comb your hair, check your pulse
gotta give a first impression; that's what matters the most
and now she's blaring her name, she got no mercy for anyone
checks her texts, tilts her head up - hey it's so good to see ya
do me a favor, hold that thought, turn around and start walking
im just too good for you and it's complicated - missing something?

Second Verse:

Wow, damn. That was harsh. Got a fall back plan?
Maybe a day or two, that'll change her mind up by then
Over and over, you keep working that pathetic attack
You haven't got game to lose, but everything to react

Chorus:

(singing...better than kesha)

Maybe I'm better than, better than her,
Whatcha waiting for?
I'm better than, better than her - she got you hooked but im just
waiting for, waiting for you to take control of the game
whatcha got, whatcha gonna do?
i just wanna know

I'm better than, better than her,
Whatcha waiting for?
I'm better than, better than her - she got you hooked but im just
waiting for, waiting for you to take control of the game
whatcha got, whatcha gonna do?
i just wanna know


Not bad for a white kid in his teens making lyrics for his own album, right?
(echo)
RIGHT??

Today marks the day...

...that I stop using smilies.

:(

Oh yeah.

School's out (again) for summer.

Yup. It's about time.

After going to countless graduation parties, I've realized something important: THEY'RE COMPLETELY USELESS.

In fact, the point of them is confined to family matters and some form of sentimental reason. There's nothing that is in particular interest for me. With that, I'll mindlessly go to the rest of them planned for this year. After that, consider me a hermit.

Today's went pretty well, however. Unfortunately, nothing I planned came out of it. I didn't spend most of the evening enjoying the crisp sunset from across the lake with my dream girl. I didn't jump into the lake to cool off. Instead, I sat there - dead across the fireplace watching the few stars come out, hearing about druglords and dubstep.

Five minutes after and I was already half way home.

For those of you who've been following me for a while, yes, theoretically I DO have a girlfriend. Does she talk to me on a weekly basis or even bother to see me once a month? NO. Can she go out of her way to hang out with me regardless of what her dad (who won't even let her off the premises of her own house without 5 people of her same sex following her) says? NO. I'd say it's a break, but I put it better as a doomed relationship. I'd say something, but she's too busy with her "life".

My stupid, sappy, doomed 17 year-old self has finally gained a head-start.

Here's to a summer full of positive development, stressless endeavors and hopefully, a distribution contract deal for my music. Something has to take off if it's THAT good..

Suburbanization (In Amaj7)

New song/symphony I'm writing.

Here's the lyrical draft:

Let the lights fall from the sky to where I came from
Lightyears from civilization walking by giants through their bloodlines
...fuu. That's all I got

I'll add onto it as time progresses.

Suburbanization!!!

RING RING RING RING RING RING RING

I don't complain too much. At least, I try no to. However, when it's such a minuscule thing such as ringing ears for almost a day straight, it starts to worry me.

Yes, the concert last night was perhaps the best I've ever went to. I most definitely should have worn the ear plugs I brought for both no ringing ears after and better sound quality (because as an audiophile, loud, distorted noise comes straight from amplitude, but with noise reduction, the sound's better and the bass is the same.)

I'm sorry I'm concerned about my physical tool for the future of my career (Audio Engineering). I'm not sorry I sound like some wimpy, pathetic loser carefully examining his problems in real-time.

But hey, at least I didn't knock up a chick (from what I know) or lose an arm. That's what counts. I'd be working on music too, if it weren't for this godawful ringing.

P.S. Relationship problems don't seem to be worth my effort, anymore. Stupid 17 year old me...

inb4 white kid blogging about his problems

It seems to be the small things

It's been a month. Time to plug my brain into the internet:

So the election results are back. Yes, I did run for student council president.

I won. I got twice the amount of votes the opponent did.

I hate to boast - I really do. I promise...

Interesting trivia, too:

- I didn't promote myself as much as my opponent

- My posters were 1/5th the size of my opponent

- I didn't vote for anyone

- I was a rather unattractive candidate (she's an 8-9).

- It was borderline gag-campaign.

...again, not boasting. I swear.

...and I still won? GO AMERICA!

Four more pages on my 20 page essay and I'm done! All will be fantastic tomorrow after it's finished.

So my girlfriend's starting to feel more separate than ever before. It's way beyond my comfort level, and now I feel like I'm living a lie.

(Wow, is that 17 year old Mac talking?)

Anyways, as she drifts outwards, my brain starts compensating with sudo-subconscious flirting. I must say, however, that I cannot flirt normally (at all). Instead, I have meaningful conversations. I usually play the "introspective" card, too.

Just saying...capitalizing my name, understanding and expanding on my ideas from your viewpoint, and actually starting conversations with me - those are the small things that make my whole week.

T.T I feel like a complicated man, and nobody understands me but my mother.

.

..

...

WAAAAIT.

Dream about McDonalds further south

In at least two of my previous dreams, there's an expanding highway with multiple channels, much like the I-25 north/south turnpike. This channel lies directly under the bridge on sheridan between ralston road and 60th (it goes over train tracks). Under this bridge is a steep drop, only with those highways - most of which have little to know traffic.

Aside from that, I drove countless miles south on either sheridan or wadsworth. I drove so much that I started entering a completely new city, which was very close to the mountains. I arrived just as the sun was setting, but magically, it remained twilight for the longest time.

Anyways, it wasn't until halfway through my dream that I noticed a girl in my passenger seat. She reminded me of an awesome ex I had, but either shorter or less german-looking (not even sure where to start defining that). I was driving an awesome, AWESOME road - very scenic and full of lush green trees. We flirted endlessly once at the McDonalds parking lot. After shameless flirting, I drove back to around where she lived. This was surprisingly close to where I lived, but remarkably in a different place. It was greener and rainier than my east Arvada residence (although not raining for some odd reason).

Next to where she lived, her neighbors were having a somewhat nude party for some odd reason, and I remember looking across from their lawn to the next house. In this neighborhood, there's really no streets. Everything's really grassy, and it feels as if it had just rained.

Anyways, government shutdown tomorrow? Anyone hear about this? Supposedly, it happened in 94-95, so no surprise...just a little scared.

Decision made!

I chose the one that makes more of an effort to communicate with me.

I'll be devoting all that I can to this, unlike what I've tried with any of my previous relationships.

I plan to be the ultimate boyfriend at (almost) any cost.

Congrats!

Instantaneous Shitstorm

So now there's a fork.

That fork's in my road.

See, there's this chick that's very devoted into getting me. She's sweet, cute, and whatever I said would go. However, controlling parents and pre-arrangements (not very common and not empty excuses that I'm so used to) limit my time with her. I would say the best chance I'd get is once a week for a few hours. I'm also skeptical about if she's clingy.

Wow. I am 17.

On the other hand, there's the chick that never texts me back, nor makes an attempt to re-communicate since strike. Naturally, I'm sure that drives me to want her more. However, it's pissing me off, because she has less limitations from outside variables.

Just recently, there's a picture that brought back so many memories. It's only been a month, too!

Both ways, tomorrow's my May-21-Judgement-Day-of-Protestants. Cast party. I'll be there.

Does it hurt that I've kissed the first girl twice already?

...in a container store?

So...

The choice has been made. Until further notice, I am unofficially dating someone.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK I'M HAVING A MOMENT.

Hardcore decisions

You can go with this, or you can go with that.

This = one girl
That = equally interested girl

Both = Grade-A USDA Choice females.

Me = bigoted sexist freak (for this example)

What am I supposed to do!?!

I like them both. One, I've been talking to for a few weeks, but rather frequently. One probably had their privileges taken away, and have since lost all communications with me. I'm scared, because at this moment, they both have problems with their (what's to be short-term) boyfriends, and they've found keen knacks for me. Never have I ever been in such a situation.

In addition, they both have many guys that want them equally, if not more, than me. Guess that's what I get for being the new kid on the block...or westy.

Cassie, Rowan: If you're reading this...um....crap. Just realize I want you both quite astonishingly. If I were mormon, and you were too, maybe this would work out well. Since I'm not, I'm going to full-throttle it neo-protestant style!

NOTE: I'm neither....which is a big hurdle in itself...

I wonder...

Usually, when calling a store or business HQ, you're presented with the following:

To order or reserve a product, press 1.

To contact technical support, press 2.

To seek an in-store representative, press 3.

For all other questions, press 5.

...wait! What happened to four? Is it a secret party line or something?
Maybe apple's full of socialists and four is their primary root number for telephone calls...

Just a thought.

Dream Log 10/March

So...weird stuff happening:

- I was having a dream about me having pink eye, and after looking in a mirror many times, I could see my pupil in a weird figure-eight shape. That, or of it two f-holes put symmetrically together...both ways, very creepy. Afterwards, I woke up and realized I was trying to open my eye against my pillow (which is why I was having complications).

After I woke up, I still had time to sleep.

This was followed by a dream of me playing Duke Nukem...then all of a sudden being PART of Duke Nukem. I was shooting inflated toy-soldier heads (all very creepy and well coincide with my phobia of faces).


Then I woke up. Dammit.

Dream Log 7/March

I somewhat successfully lucid dreamed!

I remember getting up in a big pool, at the time engulfed by water. I didn't have such a great understanding that it was all filled with water, but regardless, I flew around however I wanted to. It wasn't until I reached the bottom when I realized there was no water, and that I could breathe. I could no longer swim, so I switched to flying mode (which, logically, is hard for my mind to accept). Lucid dreaming hit me in the head, and now I was consciously aware of it. So, instead of wanting to go mingle with the cute chick at school, I wanted to punch her in the face - just to prove I was dreaming.

Phase two started me off in my bedroom. I was on the laptop. Dad comes in from the garage - somehow with me being pissy. He says something, I turn around and all that could come out of my mouth was "aositaosihfgoaglkasfhbdsa". Somehow after that, I formed the word "whaaaaaa".

Pissed to pretty okay

I'm frustrated.

I've put in at least 15 hours on one song that'll end up being passed off as, virtually, public domain. I've worked HARD, even going to the extent of setting up a schedule. It bites me to say that, but I've worked myself out. Now there's a guy that comes out with a similar style that I'd like to pursue (or better yet, similar styles to Deadmau5, Wolfgang Gartner, Skrillex, Feed Me, you name it) and now he has numerous fans (in the thousands) in the term of weeks. Bluepulse, Buzzy and all my other work added up have less than 200 fans.

My frustration's built up for a pretty long time. In fact, as I type this, I feel more adept to punching holes in walls, beating myself up, beating others up, traveling to Canada and beating the shit out of Joel for not responding to my package (although it's clearly not his fault), or just telling my parents in a firm tone that I hate bedtimes and due dates.

There's a reason you don't see Mac angry. When he's angry, all hell in an orchestrated allegro (a-minor for dramatical overtone) breaks out. You don't want to hear that. It's worse than single-note bassline dubstep.

While I'm on it, I'll give any dubstep that's not ^^^that a chance.

Anyways, it's amazing how the mind can control itself if taught correctly. Why, in just the five minutes that I've been typing this, I've calmed down to a sense of neutrality. I'm still pissed off at my manager for double-guessing what sub-genre I should've taken with Crime Pays, but...whatever. I'll forget by tomorrow.

Oh, and by the super-super slim chance (1 in 3.4 billion) that you're reading this, Olivia, I miss us talking and hope that someday you'll reply to snail mail. I'm totally obsessed with you, if that hasn't been established before ;)

It's hard acting my age when 9/10ths of other "my-age" people act like whining idiots.

Go figure - when you're a "genius", you tend to overlook the big picture.

Pic related: Grado needs to release some purple/green-beast headphones (no hipster)

I find it so weird

Recently, I've found myself censoring my final thoughts into forms that just about anyone could appreciate.

This means that my vocabulary has grown extensively, but also means my buffer time's increased...

...

...

...

...

dramatically.

I could just rage-quit, but when I don't like what someone's said, I'll quietly defend my case in a secure tone and moral comfort.

That doesn't happen to me!

In addition to all of this, I've realized how much less shy I am to social matters.

Today, I spent an hour talking to a very well-known DJ at westy. From that time, not only did I get a warm welcome to help out with any of his future gigs, but also I can now say I have DJ connections. This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me and good ol' sound guy's will to break rules.

Yes, Westy, I'm not your junior representative in charge of checking in with the DJ. Hell if I even go to that school!

I remember when I used to feel so small in a high school. Now I look around and all I see are small....small people. What gives?

No dreams last night...

...however, I'd like to address one fact:

When someone says a song needs to be hard hitting,
and it turns out to be better as an "anthem",
respect your first decision.

As a wise stage manager at Westminster High School said in my defense once, "DON'T piss off your sound guy".

That, in case, is the point exactly.

Pic related: me playing with high voltage/ your mic cues.

WOO! Dream 4/Mar

This one takes place in my neighborhood.

It's sometime late in spring, and I'm upstairs without much knowledge about what's happening outside. I get a text from my mom saying that the police are looking for two men, and have evacuated my whole neighborhood. I don't think much of it, until a few minutes later when I look outside from my studio. In the park are two men; both were asian, one taller than the other, kneeling in the grass. Both have black hair and are corporate-casually dressed. While I still have no idea why they're standing there, the one on the right stands up, pulls out a gun and shoots himself in the head.

I swear, he took 10 seconds to hit the ground.

The guy next to him missed his head and ended up flipping backwards from the recoil (something was obviously wrong with the gravitational pull here).

A few minutes after, I was watching the live news report from my iMac upstairs while looking down at the now-dead man below. The one who missed his own head was being acclaimed a hero by the whole neighborhood. I got bored, so I went downstairs in my man cave and went to sleep.

After that, I was mysteriously back up and got a call from many people, but ignored every single one.

That day was a good day.

So far...

these last two days have proven themselves pointless in dreamyland. Tonight, that is to change. Sleep in 'til 9:15? OH YEAAAAAAH!!

Someone just felt a slight bit more tired :D

28/February Dream Log

What I remember from my dream is that I was running into various hotels with my 35mm camera. This one - a very tall structure located in denver, I managed to get into without any confrontation. Armed with an ID card, I hurried into an elevator. From about the 35th floor (still four floors left to go up to the roof), I stopped the elevator and ran up the stairs. All I remember is that I needed to meet someone up there and take pictures of something.

Pic related - this is where I wanted to take pics on the roof of:

In my dreams...

The sun rises in the south and sets in the north.

There are always people. I can't be alone in my dreams.

I'm usually older. Either that, or I feel older.

Often, they make a dramatic impact on my day...

That being said, I am to report back with my dreams in full detail for the next week. I'll also record down some memorable dreams from the past.

Wish me luck!

Just a thought II

I think I'd be the only one that'd blast freeform jazz out of my car's subs, just to be more of an ass than those idiots who blast bass-only beats at 11 at night.

Alongside that note, I downloaded the Wii Shop Channel music. I guess there's going to be a new block-list for my neighborhood!

It's bad enough having someone with a vast imagination like me, but when he's an audio engineer....RUN.

That, or plug your ears.

Pic unrelated:

Now, imagine...

The land of where 20 minutes on the phone is too long!

There's some people that you'll just get tired of super quickly. For everything else, there's texting. USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

Single...again

I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The Man Himself on Electro-house

Levi Allen [a.k.a. CrowBar) has the best way of summarizing (and ranting about) all the things that piss him off:

His thoughts on generic electro-house:

"And all those asshats that pirated FL studio, spazzed out for 20 seconds, looped it, added in obscene amounts of reverb and thought it was a song." - Levi Allen

I couldn't have put it in more blunt terms. You've earned >9000 points, Crow (and not the whose line points that don't count, I promise). :D

Is it just me...

...or does Royksopp somewhere sample the sounds of The Brothers Johnson's "Strawberry Letter #23?"

I just noticed that while driving in the Subaru today...

Right. Well, I'm off. I gotta go page my girlfriend.

Also, awesomest name I've heard this week: Jenny Quickdeath.

You're welcome, Jenny.

That's right, Jimmy. I'm back.

...and I want - YOOOOOOOOOU.

A few things to note:

- I'm updating The Lamp Book

- I'm looking for stop-motion film apps

- I need to pay up 420 bucks for Live Suite 8.

- Looks like they caught on. Looks like I'm on hold making music for a little bit.

...brb, 420 bucks.

24FPS would suck on gaming machines

It's funny how modern cinema hasn't changed all that much, retrospectively.

This has all been fundamentally the same for the past few decades:

- Film

- Reels of films

- Soundtrack on rims of film (not being the best quality)

- Problematic transportation of films (I've always imagined big MPAA agents in an armored car delivering these).

- Bootlegging the goods.

Honestly, why haven't we formed it so that we have a projector with a high-density back-sensor displaying a small version of the movie, connected to, per se, a digital version of the film?

I can see film projection as an art and a successful lifestyle...and to be honest, I probably couldn't ever go to a movie theater if they did that (because then I'd know there'd be a copy of the movie floating around somewhere on uTorrent)...

If anything, I'm actually for the old format of the film-projection industry. I would like to see the prices go down, of course :)

...but still. We can evolve, don't you think?

Hasn't even been a week.

I just found out you have eyes that aren't blue, or green. They're exactly in the middle.

That's...just too awesome.

Also, I'm sorry you didn't do as well as you wish you did at auditions.

But...honestly...who wouldn't want someone that looks like Bones?

I know I would :)

/endsappyblogpost

Oh, you.

So you feel superior?

That's nice. I don't see it that way.
/not-mad

Now, the bulk:
Yesterday, I met this girl. Theoretically, I've known about her for three days now, starting off when I became sound apprentice for Westy.

Tl;dr: She's now my girlfriend.

Non Tl;dr: The events leading up to that were meticulously planned out just so that'd happen. I upset some people, but I'm a human, and I'm not alone (and definitely not out to make a difference). It's too close to call to see if she's really someone that strings that right note with me. She speaks with conviction, and right now I'm not sure if that's my preference. Regardless, she looks like a mix between Pam from The Office and Bones. This is going to be fun!

If you ever read this, Eva, I swear you looked like someone who worked in the school and knew what they were doing - that, and miles out of my league. Thanks for doing what I probably would've been too shy to do.

Both ways, I feel fine.
Very fine.

What I think about Hipsters.

Hipsters are leeches; whenever they find something that was scarcely popular back in it's time, they suck the remaining life out of it to upen their ego. What tools.

In their natural habitat, they can be seen crawling around with their neon Ray Bans and neon everything else. Only they think it's still cool to pertain to a fashionable introspective of "I need attention," and yet, they still get it.

They will substitute the weapon-of-choice-instrument guitar for the less sought-out bass (Crowbar, wherever you are, I apologize). Oh, nothing gets the hipster chicks more than single-note bass lines.

So yes, carry out hiding in your corners. Everyone loves you, except for everyone currently at a year after 2005.